Claire McCaskill Fails Latest Diet and Goes on Pencil Eating Binge
Claire Mama Caskill has been under so much stress lately due to her "damn airplane" that she has failed another diet. With hundreds of thousands of dollars in back taxes due on her airplane combined with the Air Claire federal fiasco of expensing her own private jet flown to non-official government functions at the taxpayer's expense, Claire Mama Caskill now fears her current pant suit collection will soon be too small for her expanding hips. Even so, that hasn't stopped her from eating anything in sight. Today, she ate an entire box of pencils paid for by taxpayers as official Senate office supplies. No word yet on whether they will bill her, but she is hoping Billy Long will give her some advice on his favorite buffets noting the yellow paint coating the pencil gave her the runs.